A Word About Words

How important are they?

Not very it would seem... It's 8:30 on this Saturday morning. I'm still drinking my coffee and already I've been hit in the gut with 2 instances of careless words that have left me heart-broken. I'm never sure what people are thinking when they speak cruel words, but when they pierce the hearts of children, well, it kills me. 

Again, I'm guilty of thinking too much... but I'm of the very strong opinion that words matter.

Just imagine if you are this little girl...

   
        ...The feeling in her stomach made her sick. It confused her. 

        Was being a 'fatty' a bad thing? She didn't know, so she just 

         laughed along with her parents and her siblings. What else 
         can a 7 year old do..?

Child abusers of this type are every bit as brutal as the ones who take their fists, whips and belts to their kids.
Your children cannot fight back against your words either.

So may I be the one to suggest that you shut up..? They aren't equipped, emotionally or physically to deal with this type of assault.

"The tongue can bring death or life..," according to Scripture and I swear to you, I am committed to bringing life and not death to those around me. How about you?
I hope so, my friend, because...of this,
"You must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak."

Guilty again. It's mind-blowing how many idle words I've spoken. Thank God, I can plead not-guilty because of what Christ has done for me. 

There are a lot of opinions about why we hurt each other with our words. None of them resonate with me.
Frankly, I don't get it. 

And I'm not just calling out the parents here. Spouses are guilty. Siblings too. People in general--
we're all guilty. We destroy each other with the poison of our words. It's hard not to notice how angry
we all seem to be. I don't get that either, but that's for another day.

I don't believe in tearing people down with my tongue. Never have. I think God instilled this in me as a child...Still, He has had to help me develop this gift over time.

I know He expects me to build up and encourage the people in my life. Still, there are times my emotions get the best of me and I say things I regret. That's what apologies are for. 

In addition to the little girl being called 'fatty,'  my daughter reminded me of a family whose mother we know quite well.
I ran into her recently and we had an unfortunate encounter. You see, this mom said her son was not very smart and a lot slower than his brother...in front of him. I stood there staring at this mother. Horrified.
As if she could read my mind, she justified her stupidity by telling me 'it all went over his head.' I looked down into his sweet little blue eyes, knowing that was the farthest thing from truth I had ever heard. Was she really that clueless or was she just that heartless? I couldn't say. My heart still hurts for that boy.

Soooo, how about the rest of us?
What on earth is coming out of our mouths? Do you think it's ok to call each other hurtful names? ..Names that point out other people's flaws? It's not. Parents, do you talk negatively about your kids in front of them like this woman did? God forbid.
Do you call your children names or nicknames that are derogatory in some way?

If you have to answer yes to any of the above questions, then shame on you. And I do mean shame,

the very thing you've been causing them. 

                         

               Shame--the painful feeling of humiliation and distress caused by someone else's foolish behavior.
That's right. Fools behave this way.

God says this, "Parents, Fathers, Mothers- Do not provoke your children to anger, instead, bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

Notice the Bible doesn't even qualify the behavior. I assume God means avoiding anything and
everything that provokes your little ones to anger. That's quite the command, wouldn't you say? Keeping it real...I haven't been perfect with this one, but I keep short accounts with God and my kids; asking them both to forgive me whenever I mess up.

Name-calling, yelling, angry words, negativity, rude comments, careless words, mocking, relentless teasing, careless discipline ALL provoke your children to anger. Period.
Worse, it's an anger for which they have no meaningful outlet. Psychologists tell us that their anger may become depression because they must turn it inward. Some "act out," but they are usually harshly disciplined or labeled as difficult, ADHD, stupid, incorrigible... or you name it. 

Please friends, get a grip on your tongues. 

I haven't even touched on the effects of all this on other family members and society at large. Perhaps that will be for a future post... 

Think, my friends. What in the world are we doing to each other with our words?

xx

Serious thought from the Word of God...

"It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck than to cause one of these little ones (your children) to stumble."