Not long ago, I wrote to you about the possibility of getting help from a professional counselor if you get ''stuck' in life...
Something happened to me this week that reminded me of this and I want to share it with you. It's not about counseling per say, but it does involve one of my other doctors, who's been treating me for awhile now, trying diligently to help get to the bottom of a muscle biopsy I recently had. He's even sent my slides out to some pretty impressive places to get 2nd and 3rd opinions. I mean this doctor has gone above and beyond for me. I'm deeply grateful to him. Plus, I really like this guy as a person.
This week's appointment wasn't like any other. See, very unexpectedly, he asked me how I fill my days now that I'm not as physically able to exercise and work~~like I used to be. And just as unexpectedly, a surge of tears hit my eyes and I had to swallow hard! (I was thinking, 'What's up with this? I haven't cried in a long time! Why now??') Uggghhhh. But I said, "Wait," and held up my finger. Then I collected myself.
He waited...
"I keep my mind occupied."
He nodded.
"With writing?"
(It's like he already knew)
So I nodded.
"And do you read a lot also?"
I kept nodding, thankful for unspoken language.
He nodded back. He was so serious.
Why am I telling you this little story?
Because he's never asked before. In the 2 years he's been treating me, those questions never crossed his lips. So why this time? I can't say for sure, but I think the fact that he had a cast on his leg and was using a scooter to get around had something to do with it...
...because the next words he uttered were, "It's only been a few weeks for me, and I can't stand just sitting on the sofa in the evenings anymore." (I couldn't help noticing that he's still doctoring during the day!)
Hmmmmmmm.....Yes, I understand.
Ahhhh! Empathy, that crowned jewel of mental health.
All of this led to a more meaningful discussion that I was more than happy to have with him. He is smart and I know he cares. My heart goes out to him. I'm glad his prognosis is good and he's expected to recover fully. It will require time, therapy and patience, of course. I told him I'd be praying for him. It's tough to be sidelined from your own life when you're used to going full-speed ahead! And his injury came as a result of doing something he loves...something that I also used to love; running. (Maybe that's what pushed the waterworks button) As we all know, the unexpected can come and change us in an instance when we least expect it.
He seemed to absorb what I said, but didn't offer any words of comfort or encouragement for me, except to say he'd like to read my blogs, which I appreciated. Just because he's a doctor doesn't mean he has the gift of encouragement after all. (No one has all the gifts God can dole out!)
Maybe doctors don't think it's their place and they leave the comforting and encouragement to people like family members and therapists to treat the emotional me and hopefully clergy to treat the spiritual me. I do have those people in my life, fortunately. I'm also blessed to have many friends who support me. Besides, lots of people, doctors included, find it hard to say the right things even when their patients lives are being dramatically re-routed. And he is an excellent doctor, so that's huge! (I want to get that point across!) But I know this. He's living his life from my perspective for the first time in his life and that could serve him well as a doctor and a human being going forward if he allows it to. What do you think?
Blessings xx
Ahhhh! Empathy, that crowned jewel of mental health.
All of this led to a more meaningful discussion that I was more than happy to have with him. He is smart and I know he cares. My heart goes out to him. I'm glad his prognosis is good and he's expected to recover fully. It will require time, therapy and patience, of course. I told him I'd be praying for him. It's tough to be sidelined from your own life when you're used to going full-speed ahead! And his injury came as a result of doing something he loves...something that I also used to love; running. (Maybe that's what pushed the waterworks button) As we all know, the unexpected can come and change us in an instance when we least expect it.
He seemed to absorb what I said, but didn't offer any words of comfort or encouragement for me, except to say he'd like to read my blogs, which I appreciated. Just because he's a doctor doesn't mean he has the gift of encouragement after all. (No one has all the gifts God can dole out!)
Maybe doctors don't think it's their place and they leave the comforting and encouragement to people like family members and therapists to treat the emotional me and hopefully clergy to treat the spiritual me. I do have those people in my life, fortunately. I'm also blessed to have many friends who support me. Besides, lots of people, doctors included, find it hard to say the right things even when their patients lives are being dramatically re-routed. And he is an excellent doctor, so that's huge! (I want to get that point across!) But I know this. He's living his life from my perspective for the first time in his life and that could serve him well as a doctor and a human being going forward if he allows it to. What do you think?
Blessings xx
Trust you Ann to pull a diamond from a story about a Doctor's office visit. You hit it out of the park (as usual) with your insight into the word "empathy" and the power that it has in our lives.
ReplyDeleteIt amazes me that so many people throw that word around. I was on a phone call with the VA last week and the cranky lady assisting (well 'assisting' is a bit of a stretch) actually said to me "I AM showing you empathy" while explaining (in a very loud voice) why she could not help me.
So thanks for this story and all your stories, I learn something every time I click on your blog!!!!
God Bless
Patrick Arnold